Burtle Skittle Team

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The Crown Jewels (Burtle’s Skittle Team)

2016/2017 Season.

After last seasons victorious win and crushing of the opposition the team has been moved up to the first division. This may seem like great news on the surface – Television deals, sponsorship, open top bus tours, dressing rooms I hear you say, but it could be a year of skittle pain ahead for our local heroes.

we will endeavour to keep our readers up to date with the teams progress.

Burtle Skittle team crowned division 2 champions !!!

The 2015 / 2016 season has seen the Burtle Skittle team crowned Div2 champions. Much beer, wine and spirits have been drunk, countless tonnage in pork scratchings and crisps consumed. Led by their fearless Captain the team went from strength to strength.

Congratulations to everyone


After a less than triumphant 2014 season, Burtle’s own premier skittle team has moved down in to the second division of the Bridgwater and Puriton League.

Not taking this relegation lightly the team have been attending various pre-season camps in order to return to their winnings ways.

Pre-season training included rigorous team building exercises such as alfresco fried chicken and beer appreciation dinners,  various cooked meats and beer appreciation dinners and high altitude and survival training in the darkest woods they could find (which also included cooked meats and beer appreciation).[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”2/3″][vc_column_text]


2015 / 2016 Skittle Team Results and News

    PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 21st SEPTEMBER 2017 DIVISION 1 Somerset Vaults are this week’s headliners as they amassed a stunning 535 in a 62 pin away win against Nomads, with Richard Bamsey hitting 5 spares in a total 90, easily the highest away score of the season. Jim Vearncombe was next highest ...
  • Skittles Report – 23rd March
    REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 23rd MARCH 2017 Division 1 With the top of the table positions all wrapped up the focus was on the relegation dog fight, with all 4 of last week’s bottom teams winning, the scrap to avoid joining Polden Bears in Division 2 next season will go right down to the last week, ...
  • Skittles Report – 17th March
    PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 16th MARCH 2017 PURITON SKITTLE LEAGUE RESULTS TABLES – 17th MARCH Division 1 Pirates have done it, Champions for the 7th successive season, beating the record of 6 successive seasons held by Crown Hotel between 1969 and 1975. Congratulations to Roger Palfrey and all his team. Pirates secured the 3 ...
  • Skittles Report – 2nd March
    PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 2nd MARCH 2017 Division 1 No change at the top of the division with all 4 teams winning, Crusaders and Crown at home, Pirates & Farmer Boys away. Pirates continued their quest for a 7th consecutive championship with a comprehensive defeat of Stop-Outs at New Inn, Wedmore. They pulled ...
  • Skittles Report – 9th Feb
    PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 9thFEBRUARY 2017 Division 1 Pirates took a giant step to retaining their Division 1 title when they defeated second placed Crusaders by 20 pins in the local derby at Puriton Inn. Pirates are now 8 points clear at the top of the table, although Crusaders do have 2 ...
  • Skittles Puriton & District Skittle League – 19th January 2017
    PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE REPORT OF MATCHES PLAYED ON 19th JANUARY 2017 Division 1 Pirates extended their lead at the top of the division to 6 points as they enjoyed a 45 pin home win over Polden Bears whilst Crusaders suffered an agonising 3 pin away defeat to Stop-Outs. Shane Hewart led the way for the defending ...
  • Puriton & District Skittle League – 12th January 2017
      Division 1 Pirates & Crusaders continue to dominate the division with both teams recording emphatic wins on Thursday. Pirates are 4 points clear of their stable mates after a 31 pin away win at Oddsquad, hitting the highest score recorded on the Sexey’s Arms alley this season, with Danny Palfrey leading the way with 69 and ...
  • Burtle Skittles Siting Pretty
    As the skittle season nears the halfway mark, our brave team is doing pretty well. The Crown Jewels of Burtle are in the top half of the table – how long can it last ? PURITON & DISTRICT SKITTLE LEAGUE LEAGUE TABLES 2016/17 DIVISION 1 10th NOVEMBER 2016 P HW AW D L PTS CRUSADERS 11 5 5 1 25 PIRATES 10 5 4 1 22 FARMER BOYS 10 3 4 3 18 CROWN 10 1 5 4 17 WOOLAVINGTON BOYS 10 4 2 4 14 CROWN JEWELS 10 5 1   4 13 ODD SQUAD 10 3 2 5 12 KNOWLE OTTERS 11 4 1 6 11 STOP- OUTS 11 4 1 6 11 WHEATSHEAF BOYS 10 2 2 1 5 11 BARSTEWARDS 10 2 2 6 10 SPITFIRES 10 3 1 6 9 SOMERSET VAULTS 11 1 1 1 8 6 POLDEN BEARS 10 1 2 7 5 WASTERS 10 1 9 3
  • Burtle Skittle Team 2016 / 17 Fixture List
    The renowned, infamous and dedicated Burtle skittle teams 2016 / 2017 fixture list. Can the ‘capn’ and his dedicated team match last years winning streak ? come along and support the team. last years reports can be read here
  • Victorious is the blue man group
    Somerset, Burtle. In a small stone outbuilding a flame from a single candle flickered and illuminated a hunched figure sat on a cold stone floor. A wind blew in from under the old door and whistled up the captain’s kilt, the old man shuddered from the winds surprise intrusion into his nether regions and snapped him back ...
  • The Captain enjoys a menage-a-trois
    Been a busy few weeks for the Burtle Skittler’s and this week was a visit over the hill to Moorlinch, the captain shivered as his team crossed over the hill and descended to the darkside……. In 1871 it was remarked that Moorlinch housed a range of trades and occupations including six carpenters and wheelwrights, three shoemakers, ...
  • Adios Eldorado
    Home game for the skittlers tonight – the team is joint top of the table and the captain was a little tense- this was a targeted game after all and a win was needed. The captain, normally known for his calm personality, has had bouts edginess in the past. One notable episode was during a filming ...
  • In a Pub, Far Far Away…………………..
    The new year – a new hope – wasn’t that Star Wars ? Burtle Skittle team start the year riding high top of the league table! Star Wars has been in the media of late (a lot) and this has not gone unnoticed by the Captain, always the first to be influenced by  popular culture the ...
  • Snow White and her Skittling dwarfs
      Once upon a time there lived a princess. She had wavy hair, most of her own teeth, a fine collection of cardigans and a wooden stump for a leg. The princesses name was Snow White. Unlike stories of a similar vein our Snow white possessed a magic mirror,and each week Snow White asked the mirror.. “Mirror, ...
  • 3 Points Clear
    Captain wailed at the team like the ghost of Christmas future – this is a targeted game you lot – we are top of the table – this is worth 2 points – don’t let me down ….. The team giggled – the captain was about as scary as the Muppet Christmas carol – but they ...
  • The Curious Case of the Pants in the Tree
        Another home game for the Burtle hero’s. The winning streak is starting to affect the captain in many curious ways…. Christmas has arrived at the Crown Inn and the pub looks like Santa’s grotto. Lights, Tinsel, Santa and Reindeer decorated throughout. The captain, who loves a bit of Christmas cheer was positively beside himself with glee ...
  • Captain’s ‘on point’ and orders a take-away for Burtle
      Highbridge – Somerset’s home of the takeaway and the captain was looking to take home another win for the Burtle team.  This weeks match was at the Coopers Arms in Highbridge, a large old pub situated near the train station, a good range of beers and within easy walking distance of a take away of ...
  • Boas and a Bear
    Another home game for the skitters’ this week. After the last few wins the captain strode into the pub full of confidence, his peg had been polished and a new rubber stopper applied to the end, his floaty red dress billowed around him and his feather boa trailed behind him like a tail of an ...
  • Hurricane Coombes and the smell of victory
      The Burte team was back to the Red Tile at Cossington – the smooth rubbery surface that can sweat and become slippery at the first hint of unfavorable weather. On the last outing the team all wore combinations of cricket shoes,large rubber wellingtons and a rubber stopper on the end of the captain peg. This ...
  • The White Lady of the Moor
        Shapwick is reputed to be haunted by a mysterious woman in white, who drifts across the levels wailing. It has been said this is the ghost of a woman whose betrothed was unjustly put to death under Judge George Jeffreys, the Lord Chief Justice, infamous as a cruel and sadistic executioner, who gained his reputation ...

Skittle Team Members

  • Captain – Ian Simmonds
  • Richard Dallimore
  • Lee Coombes
  • Colin Nutman
  • Paul Ham
  • Andy K
  • Julian Porter
  • Darren Vowels